We are in the last single digit month at NINE MONTHS with Kenzie at thirty six weeks this week. My jaw dropped as I was writing this because time has gone by so quickly and I feel like I haven’t been able to accomplish everything I’ve wanted for Kenzie during her first year. I feel like I’ve failed her already. She’s so precious deserves more from me. As a stay-at-home-mom who is trying to run a business in between nap times and choosing to stay sane or sacrifice sleep, I feel like I haven’t done enough and knowing this is motivating me to get more done while I still have 3 more months before her first birthday. Unfortunately, my hands are tied as we don’t know where we’ll be in the next couple of months as we plan for a move to QLD without a date locked in. I’ve never been so disorganised in my entire life and yet, it’s ironic that it’s where life has taken me. I usually have spreadsheets on top of to do lists on top of handbooks and guides for every part of my life over 3-5 years and yet, I am stuck in limbo as we have not finalised a move date. I’m devastated and feel lost and Kenzie deserves better. For the first time, I’m not in control and it’s killing me! As we’re stuck in limbo, I focus a lot of energy and time into Kenzie but wish I had the flexibility to do more and give her a better foundation but we’re stuck. Right at this moment, all I can do is sit back and wait until Ramon has found a new job in QLD and plan for all scenarios.
So far, here is her tally:
Nappy Changes: 45
Sleep: 90 hours
Feeds: 100
Leap 6 really threw us a curve ball. Our sleep has been affected as Kenzie moans and hums and hurts us while she is sleeping. We don’t know if she is having bad dreams and is trying to communicate with what she sees in her dreams or if it’s a part of this developmental leap or if it’s her teething but Ramon and I have become light sleepers so we can make sure we can attend to her when she gets uncomfortable in her sleep. Her eyes are still closed when she wails or starts fidgeting things in her sleep and we know that if we don’t pay attention, she’ll end up waking herself up. When situations like this happen, we’re happy we are co-sleeping with her however, we are stumped at why this is happening. We have tried to introduce Mr Elephant to help and although she much prefers our nose, lips, collarbone and skin to pinch and twist and squeeze in her sleep, she’s starting to slowly settle with her toy. Luckily she still gets 8-10 hours straight sleep at night and we’re so blessed with such a good sleeper.
Kenzie has fallen into a nap routine where she naps 3 times a day for 1-2 hours at a time and no longer needs to sleep on one of us. We are able to put her down and go about our business till she wakes up. It’s incredible and I love the freedom it gives us! Leap 6 definitely takes it’s toll on Kenzie as she is much more active, she runs in her walker, jumps and kicks about in her jumper, stands and walks around her crib, bed frame and windowsills and she’s always wanting to do something. It’ll definitely fire out a baby.
She is teething… still! Her teeth have still not cut through and Kenzie is showing all signs of teething. She is drooling and putty anything and everything in her mouth. We’ve bought more teething rusks and give her teethers to help but we can only do so much until her teeth have cut through her gums. We can tell from her expression that the feeling I frustrating her and wish we can do more to help.
Separation anxiety is a real pain in the backside! Kenzie has developed a fake cry where she will wail with no tears and scream for attention if you leave her side for a split second or if her “stranger danger” senses are activated. Also, she knows how to use her fake cry to manipulate us into caving into what she wants. It’s been quite difficult while out in public as we don’t want to make a scene nor do we want to give in to everything she wants.
We’ve had to make a few adjustments when we got back to Sydney. In a previous post, I mentioned our family dog has been diagnosed with cancer. To treat the cancer, he has been prescribed chemo pills which result in radioactive urine and stool. As Delius has accidents inside the house, Kenzie can only walk and stand on the floor with shoes on to protect her skin from radiation.
We finished the week traveling to one of our favourite places in NSW; Kangaroo Valley. We found some amazing antique stores, bought Kenzie’s first books here and they have the best meat pies, hands down (in Australia, sorry, NZ pies are still better). She was so good on the drive there and back (2.5 hours one way). We decided to do something different and take videos of our time in Kangaroo Valley which we’ll upload soon. As her first year is quickly coming to a close, we feel that now that Kenzie is developing more and more, we’d like to capture the moments in videos as well as photos. It’s not easy as we’re so used to just taking photos. We plan on doing a video edit every fortnight from when she turns one but after our first attempt at taking videos while at Kangaroo Valley, it’ll definitely be a challenge! However, it’s a challenge we’ll gladly accept as there is so much more we can capture and I love looking back at these photos and videos with Kenzie and talk her through that day. She’s been very attentive when we talk to her and it only shows how much she is growing. I’m so torn as I want her to grow but she’s growing so fast and I feel like I haven’t done enough to capture all these moments. I’m in a constant “why can’t you walk and talk?” and “why are you growing so fast?” battle. Oh, the joys of parenthood!